Regarding ‘Negative Influences’ - Discover Why Pessimistic Companions Can Benefit for You

Personally am hungry for insights from people regarding managing life’s midpoint hurdles, such as existential reckonings, waning significance, noticing one’s neck akin to a surrealist painting along with a recent enthusiasm for A Place in the Sun. Recently, I came across the chef’s comments on turning 50 during a chat: “Trimming unnecessary clutter is key to enjoying your later years,” he noted. “Surround yourself with uplifting friends. I’m dodging pessimists – ‘fun sponges’ – and improving at refusing requests.”

At first, I pondered: isn’t this contradictory between “avoiding negative people” and “getting better at saying no”? Might that suggest he must escape his own nature? I realize – that’s typical energy vampire talk, and I admit I fit the description. Although in our community we actually prefer the expression “energy vampire”. Steer clear of labels like “killjoy” or “buzzkill” – equating us to mundane objects hurts; we do experience emotions (even if they’re mostly bleak). I’ll accept “downbeat cashmere throw”, at a pinch.

Maybe you belong to this group as well. Are you less the life and soul of the party and more its accountant or undertaker? Does your detailed response to “How are you?” have your interlocutor edging away uncomfortably? Do you greet “fun” activity suggestions with an expression that makes you look like you’ve swallowed a slug? Do you strongly identify with Eeyore; has a psychic ever told you your aura is grey?

If so, you’re one of us, but it’s OK. Even as popular advice encourages cutting ties with “exhausting” pals, I believe we provide genuine benefits. I reckon a mood hoover would have said something discouraging – or at least made a slug-swallowing face – when Jamie described his plan to write a kids’ book with an Australian First Nation main character without consulting Indigenous communities, which could have prevented a whole lot of problems, upset and offence. Such critical insights aren’t typical from “positive” friends.