As we consider the television landscape of the recent year, a handful of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular failures. From awkward sequels to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the productions that had us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.
How to start with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the third series started, it looked like it had at last found its groove. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the last season. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was just way too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers undeniably found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a little sob?
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was practically the smallest of this show's issues. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star assessment, it was hard to know where to begin listing the flaws. The laughably wooden writing? The mind-numbing veneration of affluence and materialism? The almost deliberate parade of cliches? Acting so bad they felt almost spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and never speak of this series again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.
Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d truly have known it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless excess while struggling to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any sympathy this series might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.
Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.
Dodgy characters convening in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.
Actually, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling dialects. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just really dull; a conflict over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which felt rather simplistic.
Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s performatively angry commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into twee homemaking as deliberate statements. But then you view them and are forced to concede that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine come to life; a meme for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.
There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, identity, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this documentary series chose not to explore them. Instead, the viewing was like reading a sales catalogue. She obviously has good reason to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded non-event of a series.
It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too complicated to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up reeking of a programme that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it.
How do you follow a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity cameos involved felt icky.
Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the shrewd recruitment of talented emerging comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.
This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be treated with care. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lumbering from oddly breezy, slightly stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so.
We love the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? Nope! This international thriller about government agencies targeting – and eliminating – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.
This uncritical portrait followed the content creator renowned for explicit escapades as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was far greater interrogation of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.
Film critic and industry analyst with a passion for uncovering cinematic trends and storytelling techniques.
